I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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