the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
is wine microwaveable?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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