New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
