allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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