Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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