He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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