Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
