On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
