she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
