I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
