i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
