I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
