CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
