So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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