Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
