Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
