I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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