"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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