something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize