Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I need a beard to bite.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
