Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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