Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
