Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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