My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
