You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
