I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
