I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
