physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
