took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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