I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
