the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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