Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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