omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My penis needs a shock collar
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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