Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I've blown a few things in my day
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
