So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
