I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
We need to rekindle our bromance
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
