so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
