Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just found a bag of teeth...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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