i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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