No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize