If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
