No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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