you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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