my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
