You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Randomize
