I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize