i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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