I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
