I think i sorta joined a cult last night
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
