I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
