3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
