white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
