you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
