Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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