You really coming over, don't trick.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
