Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
