no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
