You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
