They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
