Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
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