Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
