..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
